#26

Dear Zoey,

 

My heart hurts so much right now, Zo. I’ve sobbed on and off for majority of the day (I started writing this yesterday, the day of the election). It is a dark day that your kids will learn about in history books.

I don’t know what country we’re living in right now. You and daddy are asleep in the other room and I’m out here sobbing because…

I have to face you. And I have to watch your face when you find out Donald Drumpf is president.

 

But now it’s morning…I’ve had…two hours of sleep. My heart is still hurting. My eyes are swollen from tears. And many people will find this dramatic or overkill.

 

They’ll say that we’ve had bad presidents before.

They’ll say give him a chance.

They’ll say, he doesn’t speak like a politician, that he tells it like it is.

 

I’ll say, tell that to my daughter who has personally heard him say some of the most vile things and has covered her ears and cried because of it. Tell that to me, a veteran, who has heard him mock a man who was tortured for this country or has told injured servicemen and women that he always wanted a Purple Heart. I’ll say, tell that to a Muslim American family who lives in fear every day because they practice a different religion, a mom with a transgendered son who is simply trying to navigate a life she never thought would be hers. Tell that to the incredible amounts of LGBTQ friends in my life. Tell that to the Christian who was finding faith again, but now has no one and nowhere to turn because this doesn’t look like the Christ she read about.

You know what though? I still woke up, took Rocky out for a walk, said good morning and smiled at my neighbors. Those yappy dogs a few buildings down still barked their heads off when Rocky and I passed. I still came home and made sure daddy was awake, and in a little, I’ll wake you up and we’ll go about our day. The world is still moving. It hurts me, but it’s moving.

This is the effect of feeling everything so deeply. It’s not something I particularly like (in fact, majority of the time, it makes me nauseated…) But in the face of a future that seems really bleak and scary. One that will surely bring about more turmoil and stress, I can only teach you the values I know to be true.

Being kind changes people. You can choose to be kind or you can choose to be bitter. I choose kindness.

Hard work does eventually pay off. We don’t always see it or believe it, but it does.

Having courage means facing the fear head on, and having conversations that may be hard.

Social media won’t institute change. It may bring awareness, but it can just as easily become a vacuum. Use it wisely and with grace.

When the world is scary or dark or bleak — I will always be here for you. Every step of the way. When the odds seem stacked against you, I’ll be the whisper in your ear saying, “One more time.” I’ll always be in your corner.

 

 

Love,
Mama

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